Ladies, check yourself!
I’m a pretty good girl
Into it deep with a very bad boy
I spend time, chat a bit
He hears on current affairs
Listens for the sex
Communication – that’s key
I like my face-to-face
He prefers to text
Its my occasional vodka
When its his usual beer
I’m dolled up in stilettos and a dress
He’s whatever he wants to wear
I hate silence
He doesn’t mind no convo for hours and a day
When I’m upset and need to vent
He wants to ‘play’
He’s into wrestling
I watch CSI
The things he jokes about
Are the things that make me cry
I’d strike a conversation
He prefers not to talk
He wants to go for a drive
I want to walk.
I’m into the romance
The love that heals a heart once torn
He’s rough, emotionless and into porn.
I’m PMS
He’s mood swing
My phone rings loudly
He silences the ping
His bedtime is nine
Mine is at eleven
I’m no angel, he’s a hell of a guy
But we’re a match made in heaven
Poem “Opposite Forces” Copyright (c) 2011
Yes! I have to admit it, “good” girls have the “bad boy” syndrome (had a case of it myself lol). The terms ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are determined by the perceptions of who defines the terms and what their Iidea of each is.
So what do I think?
Firstly, I consider myself a good girl (its not hard to differentiate these days…‘badniss‘ a wear) and hence my perspective. Though I may not possess all these characteristics, good girls are considered to be somewhat unexposed, cautious, follow rules, conservative, timid, very calculated, unwilling to take risks, stable and the list goes on. It would be normal to go on the search to find someone from the opposite sex to taper off all these characteristics, but no.
Something inside of us is drawn to the danger. The great mystery of why good girls love bad guys continues to be an interesting topic. Now, even in church, and from a Christian perspective, I believe the syndrome is rampant. Kudos to the ‘nice’ guys but the ‘bad’ boys seem to get all the attention. But who is a ‘bad boy’?
A bad boy, to me, is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is sometimes unwilling to offer sacrificial love in a relationship. He’s into himself and isn’t afraid to share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance but only when necessary. A bad boy has a mysterious character and might exhibit the following behavior: assertive, fear of commitment, experienced, highly adventurous, has an untamed passion, hunger for power, and so on. Why are we so drawn to them? These are, in a nutshell different reasons I got from different women…
1. He can be fixed.
Some women allow their “nurturing instinct” to affect whom they choose to date. In other words, a nice girl may view a bad boy as a “project” or someone whom she can help “fix.” This incident occurs when a woman acknowledges that her boyfriend has character flaws, yet believes she can help him mature or overcome his problems. Helping a man to “grow up” can play into a woman’s sense of significance.
2. He pursued me.
Bad boys tend to be more assertive than nice guys when it comes to initiating a dating relationship. Since most women want a man to pursue them, this aggressive approach can feel appealing. They have a spontaneous attitude that gets us every time. In addition, a bad boy may seem driven to make something out of himself. Women usually prefer a man who seems to have purpose in life. For example, some single Christian women complain that “Christian men are too passive or non-adventurous.” In other words, “nice guys” wait too long to initiate relationships or don’t seem to be going anywhere in life.
3. He’s so exciting.
Our society glamorizes the bad boy attitude – just look at who we consider the most popular singers and actors. Bad boys draw attention to themselves, and their popularity or playful personality can be very attractive. The notoriety of dating a bad boy can touch a woman’s need for acceptance and significance.
The power, influence and charm of a Bad Boy can be enviable, but I’m hopeful that those “powers” can be channeled for good, and allow men to move past these modes of false masculinity in order to embrace how to truly treat a woman beyond short-term excitement and empty flattery designed to coerce them into bed.
Bottom line: Women are more likely to be drawn to a man who shows leadership qualities, demonstrates that he knows what he wants and is assertive in pursuit of her. But, I'm all about the 'nice guy'. Nice guys don’t finish last… they just make sure the woman comes first.
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