I've been dating this gentleman for 10 months, just as with every relationship we started off real good, he would do everything a gentleman would do then out of nowhere he starts acting differently; he's inconsistent, I feel he is not being truthful and seems distracted and its throwing me off. After speaking with a friend I decided to search his phone and to my disappointment he was cheating with not one but several women. As a person of faith I'm wondering what are my next steps and how do I heal from yet another heartbreak. I'm sick of it!!!
Frustrated Christian Female, New York
Pastor Troy replies
Good day to you, I am extremely sorry about your experience as it relates to your relationship. More often than not, men and women who seemingly look distracted from their spouses are either entertaining someone, or "looking over" the fence as the proverbial quotes states.
However, I do not agree with the suggestion that was made by your friend to search his phone, which i believe is his personal possession, therefore, i don't think that it was your to invade his privacy. With that said, i like to suggest a few things as you contemplate going forward.
Firstly, i want you to know that your choice and or decision to stay or leave this person is solely up to you. i will suggest that you talk with him re enforce your expectation of him regarding a relationship,integrity and honesty. tactfully ask him to respond to these expectations as its important to you.
Secondly, understand that if your principles are compromised as a Believer in Christ, then you have to think seriously who you choose to be with. Never compromise your Walk with God for anything nor anyone. Therefore, if your present relationship does not glorify Christ with his actions, then you have to think seriously what you do. Marriage don't change people for the better,whatever issues you see now, if not changed will be magnified in marriage.
Thirdly, your emotions are at the mercy of your private investigation of his phone, therefore your going to act on that basis. Take a break from him and continue to re evaluate the relationship and objectively decide. Avoid getting and of the discoveries involved, its a bout you and him, and should you choose to go, go, Time is the friend of Truth, and things in time will come out very clearly to everyone including the other persons involved.
Finally, i believer your emotionally intelligent, that is you are not controlled by your emotions, but can think objectively in times of uncertainty,therefore, Choose to wait on God. best wishes to you.
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